This guide to the four most accessible – and we reckon most pleasurable – gay sex positions will help get you started.īefore we get stuck into how to stick it in, we’d always condone safer sex and recommend you read our guide to PrEP, and always use condoms when having sex. But where to start? What feels best? How do you gay men have sex? You’ll keep getting loved, fucked, hurt, and mystified by sexy men.As anyone who’s ever had gay sex, thought about gay sex or watched gay sex will know there are endless combinations possible gay sex positions. Get on medication, take it diligently, and you’ll be fine. If you get a positive HIV test, it’s going to be hard, and your entire life is going to change. Don’t freak out.”ĪIDS isn't over, but we’ve made more progress than you might think if you only watch Philadelphia and don’t do some research after. AIDS isn’t over yet, and there are still people dying of AIDS-related complications all over the world, but there are now lifesaving treatments that allow you to live a healthy, normal life. These are devastating and powerful, and we need these works to understand what AIDS is and was, but none of them include a disclaimer at the end for youngsters today: “By the way, we’ve made incredible advancements in HIV care. If you’re a theater kid, you can sit through many hours of Rent, The Normal Heart, and Angels in America. There’s a lot of AIDS theater, literature, and film out there. You'll love it much better if you remember it.
There’s no way to predict which one you’ll be. There are many gay men who simply get a bad compound or take too much, and overdose. However, there are also many gay men with serious, life-threatening issues that develop from using them. It may appear that there are many people who drink alcohol and use drugs without problems. In the end, you don’t know what compounds you’re really using or how they’ll interact, so there is always some risk and unpredictability when using unregulated substances. Know that mixing substances - especially illegal ones - can be fatal. Other guys simply get addicted - a risk with any drug, one you can’t predict. This dulls the experience of sex more than enriches it, since you want to know all sides of sex - the real and unreal, the good and bad, the quick and hard, the slow and gentle, the fast and furious, the sweet and caring. Many gay men who struggle with feelings of shame or insecurity use drugs to make sex happen, and may reach a point where they only know how to play when they’re drunk/high. This isn't true - and it doesn't have to be that way.Īll drugs - including alcohol - are not healthy and do not do good things to the body. There is a better world outside the closet, and you should be part of it.Ī lot of people consider drugs as inextricably tied with gay sex. We’re the ones who organized against a plague. If you’re HIV-negative, you’ll need to get on PrEP and take necessary steps to protect yourself. If you get HIV, you’re going to take your meds and live a long, happy life. I want to reach back through the years, hug him, and say, “Baby, you’re not going to die.” When I read it now, I cheer for that younger, scared me. The poetry is bad and cringingly written in all caps, but it’s one relic of my early writing I treasure.Īt the end of the poem, I come to the conclusion that coming out is worth it, even in the face of death - that it’s better to live a short, authentic life than to live in fear. I even wrote a 10+ page poem called “Heavy Is Venus” (H - I - V) in high school when I was 14 or 15, still deeply in the closet, in which I went through my feelings on this. In high school, I listened to musicals like Rent and believed wholeheartedly that if I chose to live life as an out gay man, I was sentencing myself to a slow death from AIDS. Welcome to the party - but don't be unprepared. This invisibility and isolation makes stumbling into a gay bar (or discovering a hookup app) akin to opening a treasure trove and finding that it’s yours, all yours. Where are cartoons with two little boy dogs sharing a spaghetti noodle, falling in love? Not on children’s TV. When we see those same cartoons, we understand a jarring truth: We are out of sync with the world. Every message they’ve been taught through childhood - when the cartoon boy dog meets the cartoon girl dog and the girl dog bats a pair of absurd eyelashes - cues them to have sex. As soon as puberty hits, bam! They’re fucking. Your straight peers may start early - in high school or earlier. They have no idea how to prepare you for the eros embraced by many members of our community or the risks that come with it. The amount of sex some gay men have (and the ease with which it can be acquired) is preposterous to most straight folks - including your friends and family. You might not realize it now, but you’re growing into a culture that celebrates sex.